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Putting My Oxygen Mask on First

Putting My Oxygen Mask on First – Attachment to Outcomes

 “He who stands on tiptoe

doesn’t stand firm.

He who rushes ahead

doesn’t go far.

He who tries to shine

dims his own light.

He who defines himself

can’t know who he really is.

He who has power over others

can’t empower himself.

He who clings to his work

will create nothing that endures.

If you want to accord with the Tao,

just do your job, then let go. “ Lao Tzu

I’ve been focusing on letting go of my attachment to outcomes (and pushing my own agendas). It’s hard. I love to take credit when things go well – it helps silence that little girl in me who feels like she isn’t enough. And when things don’t go well, I am always quick to blame myself and look at what I could have done to get a different outcome. I don’t have a choice though – my kids are both finishing their senior year of high school. According to numerology, I am also in Year 7 – the year of surrender. continue reading »

Putting My Oxygen Mask on First – Morning Pages

I have been “journaling” consistently for over a month – and I LOVE IT. I’ve always been VERY RESISTANT to journaling. One reason I’ve been consistent is probably because it is never referred to as journaling. I’ve been doing an exercise from The Artist’s Way called Morning Pages. (Does the Bill Cosby Picture Pages song pop into anyone else’s head when you hear Morning Pages?) continue reading »

Putting My Oxygen Mask on First – Enjoy Life Daily

I’ve been spending at least 10 minutes a day doing something that makes my heart sing. For a while, I got caught up in the responsibilities of being a entrepreneur of a newer business and mom of two kids and an active community member…and I wasn’t spending any time at all having fun by myself. While I really enjoy my work, kids and community, I still need to time to replenish myself and just have fun on my own. continue reading »

Putting My Oxygen Mask on First – Showing Up

“Commitment means staying loyal to what you said you were going to do long after the mood you said it in has left you.” Anonymous

I’ve recently been reminded a lesson that I’ve already learned from doing CrossFit for years – the value of showing up consistently – including the days when you don’t even feel like getting out of bed or know you won’t hit any PRs. It is the consistency and discipline of a regular practice that helps make the gains – not just those PR setting work outs. continue reading »

Putting My Oxygen Mask on First – Trajectory of Health (Healthy Eating)

I recently made changes in my diet to improve my overall health. I questioned whether I should make such significant changes – I know the value of starting with one small change for overall lasting improvement. My weight tends to vary fairly significantly. I’ve struggled with being mindful and present while eating. I tend to eat my emotions to avoid experiencing them.

I also am concerned about the health impacts of “yo yo” dieting. But when I look at my weight journey, I realize that I shouldn’t be focusing on the peaks and valleys. My weight journey as any journey in life, isn’t a straight line….I’m human. And life isn’t that simple. However, the overall trajectory is heading in the right direction. continue reading »

Putting My Oxygen Mask on First – “KonMari”ing my Life


This week I did an experiment applying the KonMari method to my life – not just possessions. Focusing on what food, activities, and people spark joy in my life. If you are living under a rock, and haven’t heard of the KonMari method, it is a tidying and organizing method developed by Marie Kondo, the author of “The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up”and star of the Netflix show “Tidying Up with Marie Kondo”. Her method helps you develop a sense for what items spark joy in your life. continue reading »

Putting My Oxygen Mask on First – Living Your Values

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” Martin Luther King

I’m struggling to live my values and beliefs. I say I believe only love and light can drive out hate…but I am having a hard time getting past the hate and anger I feel towards Republican leaders for not holding Trump accountable, for not supporting tighter regulations to prevent gun violence while accepting significant donations from the NRA, for targeting Medicare, Medicaid, insurance coverage while passing tax breaks for the rich, for their handling of the Kavanaugh hearings. This is also challenging my belief that everyone is a good person at heart and wants to do the right thing. continue reading »

Putting My Oxygen Mask on First – Listen First

If there is one thing I’ve learned as a parent, it’s that telling my kids what to do, think or believe gets consistent results –  NO RESULTS (or worse negative results). It is consistently ignored and leaves me (and my kids) feeling frustrated and drained. And really teens aren’t any different than the rest of us. When was the last time that you did something or changed your view/beliefs based on someone telling you to? continue reading »

Putting My Oxygen Mask on First – Stop Watching the Boob Tube and Play Outside

My mom would always notice when we had spent too much time with electronics  (in my case TV and Atari were the only “electronic” distractions we had), and make us go outside. Over the last few weeks, I’ve been reminded about how good that advice is. continue reading »

Putting My Oxygen Mask on First – Letting Go of Outcomes

“The Master acts without doing anything and teaches without saying anything. Things arise and she lets them come; things disappear and she lets them go. She has but doesn’t possess, acts but doesn’t expect. When her work is done, she forgets it.” Lao Tzu

There are so many ways I can get attached to outcomes in my day to day life – focusing on whether I can relieve a new client’s pain, whether a date has potential for a long term relationship, whether my kids will get into the “right” college, whether I can achieve the financial goals I’ve set for my practice.  continue reading »